Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Beating the fears that are holding us back!

Fear of something bad happening in the future is one of the things that make us human.

We fear something that might happen, that isn’t happening now, that isn’t even showing its ugly face at the moment. These fears are holding us back from achieving something.
The most common fear is the fear of not being good enough. Not being good enough — is actually at the root of all the others you may also have. We fear we’ll fail because we’re not good enough. We fear we’ll lose our relationships, that we’ll be abandoned, that we’ll be rejected … because we’re not good enough. We fear intimacy for the very same reason — we might get rejected because we’re not good enough. Even the fear of success is based on the worry that we’re not good enough.
Do you have this fear? That you’re not good enough? I have, for all my life, and I still have it today. But here’s the thing: having the fear is natural. Letting it stop you from going after your dreams is a tragedy. You ARE good enough! You may not be perfect, but who is?
Don't let the fear stop you from doing things. It's okay to have the fear, but don't let it hold you back. Say so what, if you fail and flop on your face in front of 1,000 people, it's okay, you wouldn't be human if you didn't. Even the most successful people such as Bill Gates, Barrack Obama, etc... have this fear, they just don't show it and they most certainly don't let it hold them back.
Acknowledge your fear. This is a huge first step. If you do just this today, you’ve done something great. Many of us have these fears, but they are at the back of our mind, unnoticed, unacknowledged, as we try to ignore them and pretend they’re not there. But they are there. And they affect us, every day, all our lives. So acknowledge the fear.
Write it down. What’s your fear? Write it on a piece of paper. Writing it down not only acknowledges that you have it — bringing it out into the light — but it externalizes the fear. It takes the fear from the dark lurking places in the back of your mind, where it has power over you, out into the light of day, outside of you, where you have power over the fear. Take control over it by writing it down. It is now outside you. You can do something about it. 
Feel the fear. You’ve acknowledged it, but you’re still afraid of it. Recognize that you’re not alone, that we ALL have these fears, that we all think we might not be good enough. This fear isn’t as bad as you think. It’s a part of you, but it doesn’t control you
Ask yourself: what’s the worst thing that can happen? Often it’s not as bad as we think. Do you fear failing in a new career? What would happen if you did? You’d get another job. You’d move on. You’d live. Do you fear being rejected by someone of the opposite sex? What would happen if you were? You’d find someone else who is more suited for you, you’d live. Do you fear being broke? What would happen if you were? You’d cut back on your expenses, perhaps ask family or friends to help you out for a little bit. You’d find a way to make money. You’d live.
Just do it. Feel the fear and do it anyway. To beat the fear, you have to just do it. Ignore your fears and just go for it, so many opportunities will come as a result!
Prepare yourself for battle. When you’re going to take on an adversary, you prepare yourself. You arm yourself, and have a battle plan, and train yourself. Do this in your battle against your fear: arm yourself, have a battle plan, train yourself. If you want to be a musician but you fear failure … practice, practice, practice, then come up with a plan to succeed, then get all the skills and info you need to implement the plan, then practice some more. Then go out and implement the plan!
Be in the moment. Fear of failure (and other similar fears) are fears of the future. We get caught up in worrying about what might happen. Instead, banish all thoughts of the future. Banish even thoughts of past mistakes and failures. Now focus on right now. Do something right now to beat your fears, to pursue your dreams, and forget about what might happen. Just do it, now, in the moment. When you find yourself thinking about the past or future, bring yourself back in the moment and focus on what you’re doing right at this moment.
Small steps. Conquering fear and pursuing a life goal can be overwhelming, intimidating. So start small. Just take one little baby step. Something you know you can do. Something you’re sure to succeed at. Then feel good about that and take another small baby step. Keep doing this, and soon you’ll have conquered a mountain.
Celebrate every success! Every single thing you do right, celebrate! Even the smallest little thing. And use this feeling of success, of victory, to propel yourself forward and take the next step. Build upon each success, use it as a stepping stone to the next victory.
“To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.”  - Bertrand Russell

 Fearlessly moving forward,

1 comment:

  1. Oh man...this is powerful

    I'm going through lots of fears and it was soooo good to read this! I think I'm going to come back and read it a few more times...


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